Fall has barely had a chance to settle in and shake off its leaves and Hallmark has announced the 2024 Countdown to Christmas. And I am once again bound by some strange compulsion to watch each year’s new crop of Christmas (with a sprinkle of Hanukkah and maybe Kwanzaa) cheer.
Starting on October 18, 32 new movies will air over the course of 10 weeks.
Here’s what we’re working with:
‘Twas the Date Before Christmas 10/18
Starting off strong with the classic fake-date-for-the-holidays trope.
Holiday Crashers 10/19
Basically Hallmark’s take on Wedding Crashers, so it will be a lot less raunchy and a lot more about the meaning of Christmas.
Scouting For Christmas 10/20
Operation Nutcracker 10/25
The Christmas Charade 10/26
The 5-Year Christmas Party 10/27
A Carol for Two 11/1
Our Holiday Story 11/2
Holiday Mismatch 11/3
Starring Caroline Rhea and Beth Broderick, aka Hilda and Zelda from Sabrina the Teenage Witch!
Trivia at St. Nick’s 11/8
A Hallmark Christmas movie about bar trivia is extremely up my alley.
Santa Tell Me 11/9
Unfortunately this does not seem to be inspired by the very catchy Ariana Grande song.
‘Tis the Season to Be Irish 11/10
Christmas with the Singhs 11/15
Jingle Bell Run 11/16
Confessions of a Christmas Letter 11/17
Not only does this star Angela Kinsey (aka Angela from The Office), Hallmark also notes that this “features a cameo appearance by Brian Baumgartner” (aka Kevin). It’s a big year for former costar reunions.
Christmas on Call 11/22
And this one “features a cameo by Donna Kelce” (aka Jason and Travis’ mom). It’s set in Philadelphia, so we can assume that cameo has something to do with the Eagles. And she won’t be playing favorites, as you’ll see later on in this list.
Three Wiser Men and a Boy 11/23
Two years ago Three Wise Men and a Baby was a big hit for Hallmark. Let’s see if they can recreate the magic.
To Have and To Holiday 11/24
Debbie Macomber’s Joyful Mrs. Miracle 11/28
A ‘90s Christmas 11/29
Deck the Walls 11/29
Believe In Christmas 11/30
Holiday Touchdown: A Chiefs Love Story 11/30
Another Donna Kelce cameo! I truly believe this movie only came about because the Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce relationship proved that women (specifically women who like Taylor Swift, a demographic which overlaps with Hallmark’s if I’m any indication) like watching the Chiefs. I still don’t care about football, but of course I will be watching this. It also stars Hunter King, sister of two-time Taylor Swift music video star Joey King. So that’s another connection, and the fact that I came up with that connection so quickly is proof of my Taylor Swift brain worms.
The Finnish Line 12/1
Yet another opportunity for some gorgeous location shots in northern Europe. Last year it was Norway, this year Finland. Next year: Something is Merry in the State of Denmark.
The Christmas Quest 12/1
Private Princess Christmas 12/6
Sugarplummed 12/7
Leah’s Perfect Gift 12/8
Hanukkah on the Rocks 12/13
The Santa Class 12/14
Following Yonder Star 12/15
When I saw this title I thought, this is either about a movie star or an astronomer. Turns out it’s both!
Happy Howlidays 12/21
This one stars “the winner of Finding Mr. Christmas,” Hallmark’s reality tv competition to find their newest holiday hunk! Can they really be running out of bland men with brown hair? Finding Mr. Christmas will air on Hallmark+, the new streaming service, along with some other series. But I do not have the time, and I am a Hallmark movie purist. But those will be there for you if you want them!
In addition to all of these, Hallmark will surely air plenty of their older holiday movies. Here are some of my favorites from past years to keep an eye out for:
For Hanukkah movies, check out Round and Round (2023) or Hanukkah on Rye (2022).
A Biltmore Christmas (2023) was far and away my favorite from last year, and honestly one of my favorites ever. If you love old movies and time travel shenanigans, this is for you.
Friends and Family Christmas (2023) is Hallmark’s first lesbian Christmas movie, and is very cute and fun. Also very cute and fun: #Xmas (2022), The Royal Nanny (2022), and An Unexpected Christmas (2021). Two older movies that I haven’t written about in this newsletter, but end up watching every year, are Christmas Getaway (2017) and Christmas On My Mind (2019).
Maybe one of these movies will finally give me a satisfying answer to the question what is the meaning of Christmas? Until then, I guess I need to keep watching. I look forward to once again going on this journey with you. Thank you for still reading!